Well, what I thought was going to be a short break has
turned into a full month of silence. Just in case anyone
was seriously worried about my disappearance, let me
assure you that I am fine.
All better and back to normal then?!
No. I can’t tell you that.
I used the words “uncomfortable” and “exhausted” in my
last post and I think that is still a fairly accurate
assessment of how I’m feeling these days. One of my dear
friends sensitively commiserated that GI problems are
tough because it’s not really something that is as
socially acceptable to talk about in depth, the way one
might if it was a broken bone or a bad cold. This is
certainly true. And, when it does get discussed openly,
it’s usually detailing a brief and unpleasant bout of some
virus or bacteria that you picked-up which should resolve
quickly with medication or of its own accord after a few
days. My difficulties with my intestines are long standing
though. Several decades, in fact. I am still uncertain why
I am having such an acute and extended experience, but
this is not the first time this has happened to me. Quite
some time ago, I was extremely sick for almost a year
before things started to seriously improve. Some people
might call it “stress”. Most doctors would probably label
it “Irritable bowel”. I have come to think of it as a
wake-up call from my body or my spirit that they need some
things I haven’t been able to give them lately. My task is
to figure out what those things are and try to heal.
I thought about sharing in more depth what sort of
remedies and therapies I’ve been trying, what my exact
symptoms are, what seems to be working and what hasn’t.
But… I don’t really want to.
I have always had a host of health issues. In addition to
the intestinal stuff, I have several chronic pain
conditions, long-term struggles with anxiety and
depression, and I honestly don’t think I can remember what
a “good-night’s sleep” actually feels like (it’s been too
many years). Some of this may be new information for a few
of you, but that’s because I never really wanted this blog
to be about any of that. I wanted this space to be about
JOY and DISCOVERY and my PASSION for nature. I’d like to
keep it that way for the most part.
This past month has been full of challenges and changes,
yet observing wildlife and the deep solace I perpetually
find in being outside alone in the middle of it all
remains unchanged. I have had to limit the amount of time
I can spend wandering the hills and photographing, but my
enthusiasm and delight in those marvelous things that I
see every day here in the canyon has not been lessened in
the slightest. This has been a great source of comfort to
me and an important reminder of just how stable and
crucial my connection with nature is.
I’ve decided that it makes no sense to try and predict how
much or when I will be able to post here and share with
you all. It seems unlikely that I will go back to regular
daily posts anytime soon, but I do hope to return to doing
what I truly love — sharing through photos and words some
of the many experiences that daily open my mind, heart and
soul to the beauty and flow of life around me. *GRIN*
