The Change that’s Coming…

Monarch (Danaus plexippus) chrysalis

I had been such an avid reader for so many years of various excellent blogs that I had a pretty high standard of what I wanted to accomplish when I set out to begin my own. I definitely wanted a place to showcase my photography, artwork and poetry. I wanted to write about my observations and discoveries, to educate and enlighten people about my biggest passion — wildlife. I aimed to inspire readers, to entertain them, and to (hopefully) keep them coming back for more. Yet, if I’m being honest, more than anything else I was looking for an opportunity to share my life with more people. I spend a lot of time alone; partially by choice. I love the solitary hours I spend out in the field. Just me and the animals, the plants, the earth and sky. When I’m around other humans, I tend to be a bit frenetic and sometimes I have a hard time feeling comfortable in my own skin. But alone… outside… I am truly a different person. Life slows for me. I focus deeply. I breathe easier. I feel completely at home and content. I like who I am.

I suppose I thought that maybe I could merge those two worlds… the one where I’m alone (but the kind of person I’d like to be) and the one where I can interact with other people (but don’t always express myself as I’d like to). This blog seemed like a perfect opportunity to try to bridge the gap. It started out well enough… Nine posts in my first month! Then, there was only one in March — but I told myself it was because we’d been on vacation and I was just getting a slow start, easing back into the groove of things. But, here it is the first week of May, and it is hard not to see the writing on the wall as I acknowledge that I barely managed to eek* out a single post for April too. I have heaps of beautiful photos still to share of our exciting trip to Vashon. There has been non-stop Spring activity here in the canyon and every day seems to bring a new story to tell. My camera has been full of images and my head full of thoughts. So, what went wrong?

Well… I fell victim to my familiar weakness — perfectionism.

All my life I have struggled with my own unrealistically high standards. I have a vision in my mind of what I want to accomplish and sometimes I stubbornly refuse to settle for anything short of that. The upside is that when I actually do manage to complete something, I’d like to think that the end product is high-quality. The downside (and it’s a BIG one) is that I struggle over things that should be enjoyable and I often give-up on them entirely rather than settle for something “less than”. It’s not a trait that I like in myself and it’s one I’d like to change, if I can.

From this day forward, I’ve promised myself that I will post something every day. Sometimes, it may only be a single photo and a few words… still, it will be something. (I considered making this deal quietly to myself instead of broadcasting it, but old habits die hard and I feared I would backslide without some accountability.) I feel quite certain that it is more important for me to use this blog to share regularly about myself and the things that bring me joy than it is to have every entry be perfect. I’ve connected with so many warm-hearted, like-minded people via the Internet. They have brought so much camaraderie and contentment into my life. I’m happy and excited at the prospect of just focusing on making that connection and no longer getting as bogged down by limitations and standards that only exist in my own head.

So… I’ll be back tomorrow to share something wonderful… and the day after that… and the day after that… and the day after that… *grin*

[* EDIT: My husband just informed me that apparently the correct spelling is “eke”. Huh… you learn something new everyday! It seems cosmically fitting that there should be at least one typo in my post on abandoing perfectionism, doesn’t it?!]

There Will Be Bugs*

For those of you who don’t know already, I’m pretty fascinated by arthropods. Several years ago, I only really knew how to identify butterflies and maybe a few spiders and beetles. But, I like to photographically document all the creatures that I come across and once I have photos of them… well, then I really want to know what to call them. And as per so many things in nature, once I learned a little bit, I just kept on wanting to learn more.

After I had exhausted the few field guides that I owned, one of the first online resources for arthropod identification that I found was BugGuide — and I fell in love! This astounding site offers several resources: 1) A clickable field guide that offers high-quality photos, information, and distribution data for an ever-growing number of species within the continental U.S. & Canada. 2) Several forums for posting arthropod-related questions. 3) An ID Request page where you can upload your own images and contributors will help you ascertain the correct identification. This site is 100 percent volunteer-driven and it is truly a melting pot of different people within the scientific community. Contributors range from well-respected entomology experts and students to dedicated naturalists and photographers. It is an excellent place for beginners to learn and participate in an extremely supportive and encouraging environment. About a year and half ago, I was very pleased to be allowed to contribute my time and energy by becoming a contributing editor on the site. I cannot say enough wonderful things about the website itself and all the incredible people involved, many of whom have become good friends.

So, getting back to the title of this post… “There Will Be Bugs”. Though this blog will most assuredly showcase plenty of beautiful flowers, scenic skies, cute mammals and magnificent birds — there will also most definitely be insects and spiders (and snakes!). I know some people find these creatures “creepy” or “icky”. It is my sincere hope that I can change a few minds in this regard, but if not, you can always just skip past these posts.

The lovely red-and-black insect in the above image is the Large Milkweed Bug (Oncopeltus fasciatus), a common and conspicuous find in this area of southern California. As the name would imply, they are often found feeding on the plant tissues of various species of milkweed (Asclepias). However, around my place, there is a very large and active population that resides rather exclusively in the non-native Oleander (Nerium oleander) bushes.

The following photo shows the same species of bug, but this one has just finished shedding its exoskeleton. This is necessary in order for it to continue growing to its full size. Shortly after this process, the new exoskeleton has not hardened or darkened completely and during this period the freshly molted insect is referred to as teneral. Typically when I see these pale individuals they are clinging to the underside of leaves, presumably as a means of hiding from potential predators while their bodies are still soft and vulnerable. (For a fantasic series of images documenting the emergence of a teneral individual, click here.)

* While it wasn’t one of my favorite movies, for those who are familiar with the somewhat bizarre 2007 film “There Will Be Blood” — I hope you got my little joke! My husband rolled his eyes at my bad pun, but I sure thought it was funny. *big grin*